Day Dreaming 3

Just writing the title to this post  made me do a double take.

How many of us were ever told as a child that we needed to pay attention and stop daydreaming? I was told that often…and I am sure many of you can relate.  I remember all the ideas that came from those days, but like most things in my childhood they stayed in my child years.  I was encouraged to focus, build a plan, execute the plan, chose a career.   These were the lessons I learned. I was inadvertently taught that dreaming gets us nowhere, and that only hard work and planning get us where we want to be.

This was all I heard as a child…but it wasn’t out of ill intent. In fact quite the contrary. The people saying these things wanted the best for me. They were giving advice from the world they knew. They came from a place where successful people studied hard, went to school, got a job, and on this journey found success. It was not until I was going to university that I heard a different way. I had a professor who has passed away now, but he used to say “You have a story to tell, a song to sing, a book to write, greatness is in you… the question is will you let it out?”

I will never forget Dr. Allen’s words to me. He was the first person to give me permission to dream impossible dreams as if they we reality. I learned that chasing dreams was fun but catching  and living my dreams was even more fulfilling. He unlocked something that continues in me to this day.

Why is it that we tell our children to focus and stop day dreaming? Why do we drive them to the lives that we despise? It is amazing to me how we have shifted from encouraging people to identify the life they want and then find a way to achieve those results, to a lifestyle where people are going deeply into debt while trying to escape a life they despise. We have a responsibility in this day and age to take off the limits and launch ourselves and others into the audacious. We should be catapulting ourselves and others into the extraordinary by making dreams reality.

This alone is a very difficult challenge for many of us. I was recently speaking with a client I was coaching and when talking with her I asked 2 questions, “What great thing would you like to accomplish in life?”. I then asked,  “What would you do if you had no limitations on your time and resources?” The answers I received amazed me.

I’m not a dreamer Matt. That was for people with a grand purpose in life. Great things don’t happen to people like me and people like me don’t do great things. We are born with a limit to what we can accomplish and I’ve maxed out.  I don’t allow myself to think about things like what life would be like if I did not have limitations. It is foolish, because I have done all I can do. My lot in life is to work this job and get by.

Can you hear the defeat in her response? As we continued to talk this 44 year old woman explained that her father used to tell her that dreams were for the foolish and that her ex-husband of 13 years told her that she had to be the stable one, while it was his role to dream and improve their life.

Are you kidding me?

It will take time for us to encourage this individual to learn to dream.  We know we have our work ahead of us, but the truth that we did agree on is simple.

We have permission to DREAM!

As we move forward and learn to dream together the starting point is simple.

Day Dreaming is Allowed!

So here is your mission if you choose to accept it.  Fill in the bubble below with your dream. What is it that we would like to do in this life that will leave a legacy to the generations that follow?

Day Dreaming 2

Consulting, public speaking, blogging all started as a daydream. I knew the limitations, but I also had a dream.

I have not arrived at my goal, in fact, I’m still a long distance from hitting the mark, but I allowed myself to dream.

It is in this dreaming process that I have begun to come alive! I have found Habuda Consulting Group to be more than I ever thought possible.  I have found 2 subdivision that encompass my passion first, this blog ACT Speaking, and second Live 4-1 Outreach our widow and orphan advocacy blog.

This is my dream. I hope that by reading this you will begin to chase your dream.

Fill your dream bubble this week. Allow yourself to dream like you may not have done since you were a child.

Allow yourself to ask these questions.

What could happen? What could I do? Where could I go? Who could I help? What could I see? What could I write? What could I learn?

The list could go on forever, but once you are done writing out all the answers that you can possibly come up with, ask more 3 questions.

  1. Which of these would I enjoy doing?
  2. Which of these can I do or would I be willing to learn how to do?
  3. Do I at the very least want to try and see?

As you go through this process I encourage to make as many lists a possible.

Find a dream and then chase with all you’ve got!

Day dream 4

Let’s Go Together!

Blessings

-M-

@HabudaConsult

@Mhabuda

@ACTspeaking

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The crippling internal dialogue that locks us in place and steals our motivation.  The criticism of friends and family that never seems to stop. This thief comes in the night, stealthily slips into the back corners of of our minds and waits for the moment to attack our dreams.

Thief We have all seen this image or one like it. The thief that comes in the night to steal our prized possessions.

This thief is not restricted to the realm of worldly possessions. This is the thief that steals our hopes, dreams, plans and aspirations. This thief cannot be caught with our hands and other physical things.

The truth is that this thief is far more crafty then we can imagine. He steals not only our results, but our time, thoughts, our knowledge, confidence and so much more.

We must be aware of his ways. The thief comes early in the morning whispering that going back to sleep is a worth while thing to do. This thief tells us that pursuing higher education is a waste of time and money. This thief tells us that we are wasting our time dreaming of big audacious goals.

Let me make something perfectly clear. The thief is a liar! The challenge that we face is that often in the midst of trial and circumstances we cannot hear the truth. So we fixate on the lie that the thief tells us. We allow the half truths to overwhelm us and keep us from accomplishing our greater purpose. We stop risking and start excepting the lies as truth.

I’m definitely guilty of this at times. What I’ve found is that when I begin to accept the lies, I begin to lose my joy. It is the hope for a better tomorrow and the pursuit of my passion that makes everyday worth striving for, but when I allow the the thief in my mind to steal that from me, I cannot help but become overwhelmed and discouraged.

So let’s look at 3 ways to deal with the thief.

  1. We must identify the thief.  We cannot move on to the next steps until we know what the thief looks like and sounds like in our own life. It maybe another person and their negativity, It maybe the things we watch, read and listen to, or it may be a simple as the voices in our own minds that keep up from moving forward.
  2. We must take the thief captive. We cannot continue to give the thief free reign over our dreams , thoughts, and efforts. There comes a point in time where we must take captive the thoughts and comments of others. At this point we have identified who or what the thief is in our lives, so  now it is our job to lock the thoughts away or to analyze them to remove the power they have over us.
  3. We must destroy the thief. The best way to destroy the thief that comes to steal, kill and destroy our hope and joy is to stop listening to the lies and begin declaring the truth. What truth is that you may ask. The truth is clear….You are not defeated, you are the head and not the tail. You have in you the ability to accomplish that which you set out to accomplish. You possess the mind and abilities necessary to accomplish your dreams.

So you’ve dealt with the thief. You’ve identified it, taken it captive, and destroyed it. So now the only question is, “will you use what you have to chase your dream?” Will you stop letting those pesky thieves steal your passion?  At this point it has nothing to do with what the thief says or does. The thief may be lurking, but truth has destroyed it. It’s up to you to keep moving forward. The ball is in your court and you can do with it whatever you choose to do.

Make it count. Serve Others, Lead Others, and Chase Dreams!

Blessings

-M-

@Mhabuda

@ACTspeaking

 

Cover of "Emotional Intelligence 2.0"

Cover of Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Working within the machine. This phrase is a common business phrase, and has always stuck with me.  Although it’s a common phrase… what does it really mean? I would like to make sure that we have a true understanding of what it means to “work within the machine.”  I also want us to briefly explore why it is crucial to motivation and success.

Companies today are machines with many moving parts. Each part does a small aspect of the larger process. Even independent business owners are dependent on other parts of the corporate and government machine.

I’ve watched and mourned as brilliant business people have been crushed by the machine. They jump into the game only to find themselves ground up and spit out into roles of menial importance with no future.

The reason for this can be found in the realm of Emotional Intelligence (EI). It is one thing to have a brilliant mind, but it is another thing entirely to navigate the social and political jungle that is our modern day economy.

The video below is an interview with Dr. Daniel Goleman.  Dr. Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence and other books on EI.

He spends some time taking us through what EI is.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the area of cognitive ability involving traits and social skills that facilitate interpersonal behavior. Intelligence can be broadly defined as the capacity for goal-oriented adaptive behavior; emotional intelligence focuses on the aspects of intelligence that govern self-knowledge and social adaptation.

Simplified:

Goleman describes emotional intelligence as “managing feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together smoothly toward their common goals.”

How does this idea play into our focus on inspiration and motivation? The answer can be found all over our companies. When we place our brilliant technical experts and our inspired visionaries and leaders into stagnant roles that communicates a message that their importance is non-existent. We are limiting what our companies are capable of becoming.

So, how do we combat this growing trend?

How do we overcome the natural human tendency to mitigate those with greater skills and abilities?

How do fight the selfish behaviors of middle managers that often try to repress the skills of the fast risers?

How do we help others (and ourselves) overcome the tendency to feel threatened by the new talent?

We are survivalist by nature and as a result we limit our organizational opportunity by heavily restricting what we don’t understand.

As leaders we must get out of our own way. In all areas of our companies and lives we must stop limiting the greatness we are capable of achieving. There are opportunities to inspire and motivate our workers without falling into an age old practice of throwing money and awards at people.

This comes down to first developing the Emotional Intelligence of our staff and even more importantly ourselves.

A great book on this is “Emotional Intelligence 2.0“.

When we develop the EQ in an individual  we make room for the IQ to show through.  We have an obligation to ourselves and to others to stop limiting what they are capable of because we cannot deal with people and the complexities that are associated with them.

What happens now though?

In many companies and organizations we have already placed highly capable people in the corner because they have not developed the necessary EQ to deal with others in the organization.

Lets take the handcuffs off and begin to train the EQ skills necessary to not just survive, but to thrive in the modern business world today. We must equip our people and ourselves to adapt to the challenges that will inevitably come.

If you and I want to reach our fullest potential we must unlock our Emotional Intelligence so that we can effectively adapt to the professional climate change that comes with dealing with people from all walks of life.

Business is people. Writing is about the reader. Singing is about the audience. Video Game design is about the gamer.  Since business is people, then if we want to succeed, we have to enhance our ability to successfully navigate human relationships in a  personal and professional manner.

I wish you success in your journey. Please let me know if I can help you reach your goals!

Blessings

-M-

@Mhabuda

@HabudaConsult

@ACTspeaking

Looking Down on Young Leaders

Posted: August 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

This is a great post from the Leadership Freak. As a HR Consultant I’ve heard the Old Guard criticize young leaders to the point that it has become laughable. It is time organizations begin to develop their young leaders, not tear them down. Here are some great tips on how to do it!

I find myself  in an interesting place right now. I’m sure many of you can relate to this place. I’ve made some progress in the pursuit of my dreams; however the weight of the commitment and challenge is starting to weigh heavier than ever before. I never thought that it would be easy, but I often forget to factor in the simple reality that I cannot devote one hundred percent of my time to my dream.

If your dream is to be a writer, a singer, a musician, a speaker, a chemist, a travel agent, a CEO, or anything else, one of the largest challenges that we face is to recognize the balance between where we are and where we hope to be. Every day I am given the opportunity to work a great job as a SR. HR Consultant for a good company, but it is not my passion. It is not my dream. I like my job, but I love my passion.

If you have been in this place you know that this presents us with a series of challenges illustrated by the quote below:

“Well, I’ve been happily supporting myself for ten years now on the hustle and trade of live entertainment. I guess my breakthrough moment was when I decided to go for it once and for all.”

.Jason Mraz

Here are the Challenges:

  1. We must choose to chase the dream Jon Acuff  wrote a whole book about it…we have to “Start”. For me this is the easy part. Starting on a daily basis and continuing is where I find the challenge. Starting is an ongoing process not an individual moment in time.
  2. We cannot quit the day job – As much as I would enjoy dream chasing 24 hours a day this is not an option right now. I have a wonderful family that needs me to bring home a steady paycheck. If we look at the previous concept we see that it is our natural tendency to believe that the breakthrough only comes when we leap into the deep end. Nowhere does it say that this has to be a crazy risk. Nowhere does it say that we must quit all things that provide consistent provision.
  3. How do I do both? – This picks up where point 2 ends.  We first start, then realize we cannot quit the day job, then we have this struggle of knowing the job needs to be done and the dream needs to be chased, but we struggle to find the best way to balance the time. Through my journey of Intentional living I have found that I have the time to do both, but I have to be willing to make the choices that lead to success. This journey is not an easy one and will take a willingness to as Dave Ramsey says “Live today like no one else, so we can one day live like no one else”.
  4. Find success in the journey– The key in this process is to find joy in the journey. It’s when the daily practice is as fulfilling as game day that we can walk in the confidence that we are working in our passion.
  5. When the time is right….LEAP – There will come a point in time where we can maintain and thrive in our responsibilities and it’s time to take the leap into our dreams. But one huge key to success is not jumping at the wrong time.

I want each of us to remember that the joy is as much in journey and struggle as it is in the arrival. We must find joy in the journey.

A friend of mine likes to say, “that to understand true joy we must learn to suffer well.”

Blessings

-M-

@Mhabuda

@ACTspeaking

As the #STARTexp continues I could not help but laugh at today’s message:

Day 15: “Ignore a Hater Day”

Today is national “Ignore a hater day.”

Oh, you didn’t know? That’s because I just invented it. Today, I want you to ignore one hater you’ve bumped into in the last week. Don’t respond to their tweet or Facebook comment. Don’t answer their angry email. Don’t jump in the mud with them. Ignore them and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a little less negativity in your day.

How many of us have been in a place where we are focusing on achieving the great things in our lives, when out of nowhere someone comes along and tells us that we will not succeed? They tell us that we were not meant for greatness. It is not when the haters make themselves known that we should quit. It is when the haters appear that we should run all the harder towards the prize.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

This verse from the Bible has always sticks in my mind…especially at the point when the haters come…because they always come. I have allowed them to knock me off my course too many times in my life.  I’ve allowed those with selfish intentions to stand between me and the prize. We cannot allow this to continue.

We were created for a purpose. The great things that we were created to accomplish should not be allowed to go undone because someone with negative intent is allowed to stand in our way.

So here is the question that we all struggle to answer.

How do I ignore the haters in the world when their words of doubt and failure are echoing in my head already?

We must understand that often times in our lives our largest hater is us.

Yep. The largest hater we will probably face is ourselves.

I had a boss years ago that used to say that the stories that we tell ourselves are rarely true.

Self Talk is a powerful tool and a vicious enemy. How we see ourself can be beneficial or detrimental to the purpose we are seeking to accomplish.

I don’t know what your goal is today. I do not know what your race looks like, but I do know we have a race. I want to give us 3 rules of dealing with the haters outside our mind and then I want to give us 3 rules to dealing with the haters inside our mind.

First, let us deal with the social media friends and haters that are around us every day, including our peers. These are the people who find it their personal goal to tear down the people around  them.

  1. Use the delete button freely– I will admit this is easier to do via social media but it also applies to the conversations that we have with people around us. Read it once, look for truth, and then delete. Don’t allow negativity to take up residence in our mind. In the true human dynamic we have to be a little more forward thinking. When we have identified the haters around us, we must stay away from them. If there is “That Guy” in the office that is always spouting doubt and discord it is our job to get away from it.
  2. Use it  as motivation– There are some people that thrive on haters. “Let them come,” “I’ll show them,” “Nothing will stop me,” are the mantras of those that thrive on this.  It may not be your natural state of mind, but I encourage us to use it to our advantage.  Allow those that want to distract us from our purpose to become a rallying point to push us on to great new things. The launching ground for our new company, new book, professional success, social outreach, or any other dream we may have.
  3. Ignore and shut the haters up– The third, and in my opinion, the most rewarding of methods is to work on achieving success everyday so that the haters are left with little to talk about. Run towards the prize. Run past the haters,  run through them, around them, or over them, but do not stop running. It is when we stop running the race that the haters win. Do not allow small-minded and ignorant people to stand between us and our purpose. Do not give credence to their view points by allowing it to knock you off course.

Now how do I deal with the voices in my head?

  1. Write out your success – When the self talk begins it is rarely positive. We have to become our own Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, John Maxwell, or whoever it is that motivates us. There comes a point where we cannot rely on others and we must change the self talk ourselves. So sit down with a pen and paper and write out what you are doing well. Keep it positive. This is not a brainstorming or planning session. This is a time to brag to the voices in your head! You are amazing and it is time the haters in your mind knew it.
  2. Put a voice to the self talk and find the truth – This one is a fine line. Self talk, even negative self talk, can often have in it a grain of truth, but it is often exaggerated one way or another.  Jot down, tell someone, or record what the self talk is and then find the truth. Not the looping mantras that we play in our heads, but the real truths that allow us to constructively grow. Use it to make ourselves better and move ahead.
  3. Stop – There are times where we need to slow and stop what we are doing just long enough to take control over what is happening in our own minds. There are times that we are trying to run past the thoughts only, for them to run with us and grow in intensity. Don’t be afraid to speak directly to the self talk and tell it who is boss as the old saying goes. This is our mind. We are in control. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves just who is in control.

I encourage us to move beyond the doubt and fear. We must Chase our dreams and not let anyone or anything stand in the way. Walk boldly and with confidence. You and I were created for greatness and don’t let anyone stand in the way of the prize.

I will leave us with this Steve Jobs quote, may it bring joy and motivation to shut up the haters and achieve greatness today and in the days to come:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Blessings

-M-

@Mhabuda

@ACTspeaking

Unofficially I began the #Startexp three weeks ago and officially we began 12 days ago. For those of you that do not know what this is let me explain. The Start Experiment is a 24 day social experiment with 2400 members linked through Facebook and other social media broken down into smaller groups and partnerships working together to start our own individual goals. This project was conceived and led by bestselling author of “Quitter” and “Start” Jon Acuff.

I signed up, jumped in, and still don’t know what is coming day-to-day.

This experiment is showing me something that will linger with me for life. We are at the halfway point and if nothing else happens, this is beyond worth it. As we have gone through the daily tasks I have heard people talking about life lessons they have learned. They have said things like punching fear in the face, Starting daily, waking up earlier, learning new skills and many other goals and focuses. I have had one word that has been by mantra from about day 3. The word that stands as my mantra is INTENTIONAL. This experiment has taught me to be intentional about my goals and vision. I’m not waiting for life to happen to me. I’m out happening to life.

In 20 days I have:

  • Spent more time with my family
  • Officially launched 2 new blogs
  • Posted 15 new posts
  • Finished a chapter and a half of my book’s rough draft.
  • Increased my social media network by 15%
  • Started mentoring 2 new people and 2 more potentially
  • I’ve dealt with some lingering fears
  • Started a daily workout and swimming regiment
  • Lost 5 lbs.
  • Started meeting with web designers to make blogs self-hosted
  • Identified over 85 orphan care ministries that our nonprofit can support
  • And more

I don’t say this to self-promote, I say this to bring attention to fact that I don’t have any more time in my weeks than I have for the past 10 years. I have the same amount of time in my schedule as ever. It is more about what I’m doing with the time I have been given. I have never had results like I am having right now. Let’s take a look at my weekly calendar: (Click on calendar to see full size)

cal

I feel I may need to translate. “Bubby” is one of my son’s many nicknames. I make sure that I put time on my schedule to play with him and my wife together before he goes to bed. Everything on this calendar is there for a reason. I’m not allowing things to happen by accident anymore. This is what has led to new levels of success in my life both personal and professional.

Instead of looking at my life as chaos, and overly busy, I’ve become intentional about having an impact on the world. I’ve become intentional about chasing my dreams. I’ve become intentional about fatherhood.

So what?

So, I want to see you survive and thrive. I want every person that takes the time to read this page to walk away with something that can lead to a higher level of success in life, personal and professional.

I want to take a second to encourage you with an outline of a few steps you can take to become intentional in life.

  1. Make the big things the big things and the small things the small things
    1. Make a list of the important things that have true value
    2. Successful people should 80% or more of your time on “big things”.
  2. On Paper, On Purpose – Write or type out what you want to accomplish
    1. Do this first thing in the morning and do it daily.
    2. Stick with it. Keep it up for 3 weeks before quitting
  3. Be present in the moment.
    1. This is at the core of living intentional. You must be engaged in the moment or you will miss it.
    2. Find joy in the moment. Moments are fleeting

Please spend the next three weeks building intentional life patterns and I would love to see and hear what you accomplish in this short amount of time.

Blessings
-M-
@Mhabuda
@ACTspeaking

 

All that is needed for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing

This quote has always been a favorite of mine. The main reason is that I am amazed by the level of apathy in the world today!

I watch every day as good men and women do nothing!

They hide behind phrases

“It is not my job.”
“I’ll get to it.”
“Maybe later.”
“Have someone else handle it.”

And the list goes on and on.

We have become apathetic in our approach to life. We sit back with a sense of entitlement waiting for good things to happen.

Let me tell you a bit of my story. A little over 4 years ago I went to a Dr. for a physical to qualify my adoption paper work to start the process of adopting my son. I stepped on the scale. 6’2″ tall and 415 lbs. This was the shock of my life. I had alway been athletic and big but this was crazy. I went on to have my blood pressure and cholesterol levels checked. I failed both tests. I was told I would not qualify for many international adoption programs. I was also told I’d be lucky to see age 65. Keep in mind I was 28 years old. This was a moment I will never forget.

There was a measurable result to my apathy. I was waiting for weight loss but not doing anything about.

How many things in our lives would we love to see change and instead we sit back and wait. Wondering why things have not changed.

I was not given the chance to loss weight and get healthy by sitting on the couch and eating double cheeseburgers. Over the last 4 years filled with many hours of exercise and watching my diet, I have lost over 155 lbs. I do not get to make this claim because I sat back and waited for life to “give me what I deserved”. The way that I treated my body it is a good thing that I did not get what I deserved. My life was out of control and the only thing that could change that for me, and the only thing that can change it for you. is a willingness to take action.

What are you willing to do to see your dreams come to reality?

What in your life would you like to see change?

Why do you want to change these areas of your life?

What aspects of your life will be better if you take action in these areas?

Who will be positively impacted by changing this part of my life?

These and more are questions we have willingly ask ourselves. Our society loves to look out at the lives of others with envy and discontent. What we fail to do, is to look internally, so that we can identify, and change areas of our lives that need to grow and change.

Looking inside is far more difficult then looking out. It requires us to be real with where we are and where we want to go! The willingness to go through this painful process is crucial to success in life. If your goal is to be a pro athlete you must be willing to analyze shortcoming and develop strengths. If you aspire to be a real estate guru you must be willing to assess and manage the portfolio. This process requires a self-focused honesty that can be very difficult for many of us. often we spend more time lying to ourselves than anyone else.

I encourage you today to ask these questions and many others. It is time to get very real with ourselves on where we are and where we want to go.

Once this is determined, I challenge you do something about it!

Once you start, keep starting everyday! chase down your dream and wrestle it to the ground!

I want to be a “WAYmaker” and I want you to become one as well.

Go make a way in the world and change the world around you as you go!

Blessings
-M-
@ACTspeaking
@Mhabuda

The Role of Mentor

Posted: July 22, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Now we come to the third and final role that we play. This role is that of Mentor. I’ve heard it said that what you intend to teach you learn best.

What if we were to seek to teach one or two other skills? What if someone else took the same level of interest in you?

How much knowledge would everyone gain?

Successful people understand that one person can only obtain so much knowledge and experience on their own. Successful people understand that success requires the skills and knowledge that can only come through time and that to expedite the process one must have a mentor.
If you think my concept is off and that experience is not all that important let me tell you a story about my dad and the game of golf.

For as long as I can remember my dad has loved to play golf with my brother and I. For years we have played as often as possible and the outcome on the scorecard has been the same. My brother and I would take the top two spots. For the past couple years my dad and I have had the privilege of playing golf together once or twice a month when weather permitted. Over dozens of rounds of golf I began to see a pattern emerge. He made the same mistakes over and over and over again. I watched as the small improvements would be made, but at the core he could not truly identify where the problem existed. In many ways the more he played the worse it got. There seemed to be a wall that he could not get over. I wanted to help, but my game is nothing to write home about. So we kept playing with the same outcome.

A couple of months ago my father was invited to play in a golf tournament through work. He hesitantly accepted and began to assess his game.
If you did not know the risk of embarrassment is a powerful motivator.
Dad hired a golf coach. He went lessons and in fact identified and corrected some of his biggest
mistakes in less than one hour.

This demonstrates the value of a mentor.

This demonstrates our need for a mentor, but this article is not about having a mentor, that was discussed in the Role of Student. This is about being a mentor to others.

You have been blessed with skills and resources. You have abilities that others would benefit from having and it is successful people who share them.

As you share your skills others will share with you. This exchange of knowledge and as the old saying goes… “Knowledge is Power”.

So if we take this to the relationship dynamic that we have discussed in this series we are tasked to identify a third person or group of people to include in our lives.

We have a mentor teaching us.

We have peers walking the journey of life with us.

Now we must find someone or a group with whom we can share our knowledge and experience.

Here are 3 things to keep in mind when you are looking for someone to mentor.

1. What is the character of the person?
2. Does the individual want to learn?
3. Is the individual willing to do the work necessary to learn?

Many may ask why the character of the person matters. The answer to this question is explained by the image of a mirror. You see when you chose to mentor someone the work that they do and the way that they carry themselves in public will be viewed as a direct reflection of you as a person.
Make sure that the person you are mentoring represents you well. And remember this is an inverse relationship. You represent them as well, so be sure to carry yourself with high character and integrity.

Here is my encouragement to you.
Find a mentor
Find a friend
Find a student

By finding these relationships you will find the success you are looking for in life and you will find so much more.

Go forth “WAYmakers” and change the world around you!

-M-
@Mhabuda
@ACTspeaking

Role of friend

Posted: July 18, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

In continuation with the “3 people at once” series we are going to explore the role of friend or peer. 
This function is often confused and it is often skewed. We have personal friends and that is a wonderful thing. But this does not fulfill the role of peer. What we are talking about here is a person that is growing with you. Think of Proverbs 27:17 that says as iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another. This is the type of relationships we are talking about. It is about growth. It is about breaking down the walls they have held us captive in certain areas of our lives for years. It is about joining forces with a friend to pull each other out of hard situations. To celebrate triumphs together. To be completely transparent this is the hardest of the three roles for me to play. I love to learn and I love to teach but I’ve had very few meaningful peer relationships in my life. It is the piece of the equation that always seemed to be missing. This is the role that will require you to raise your Emotional Intelligence. You and I will both be forced by circumstance to enhance our abilities to adapt to the behaviors and beliefs of others.

This is an opportunity for great things. It is in the role of friend that we can find great innovation and creativity to fulfill our dreams and goals. When you take the time and risk to open yourself up to a peer and run the race of life together you will find that the rewards far out weigh the risks. You will have the opportunity to do life, to love, to laugh, to fail, to succeed. it is in this process the you and I will be refined. In this process and we can find people who can fill the voids that we feel in our lives.

True friendship is scary though. It is not to be taken lightly. For the risk is real. when you open yourself up to a peer to run the race of life with there will be pain. There will be ups and downs and the quality of the peer will be defined by how both parties are willing to adapt and change to grow and achieve greater levels of success both personally and professionally.

My desire is to see you thrive. My goal is to see each and every person I encounter be their absolute best. I want to see you at the top of your game. I want to see the pain of the past mended. I want to see you rise from the ashes of life and burst in a phoenix. Born from hardship and pain and now ready to fly to new heights. Each and every one of us possess the ability to achieve great things and many of us may even be able to accomplish them all by ourselves, but consider the joy of conquering your mountains with a friend at your side.

So, here is your mission if you choose to accept it.

Find a friend, a peer, a partner. Find someone to do life in all forms with.

Lets make a way “WAYmakers”!

And let’s do it with a friend at our side.

-M-
@ACTspeaking
@Mhabuda